Every so often you speak to someone who makes quite an impression. Ordinarily for me, that person says something that rings with truth. Well that happened today, I was having a chat with someone I don't know very well and they were by their own admission rather blunt. I quite appreciate bluntness, I understand it, its too the point, there is no confusion with it, its not always nice but its something you can do something with.
So the person said to me (and I paraphrase slightly) to' be careful with the impression I give to girls by speaking to them'. I often speak to girls, one of my best friends is a girl and its probably fair to say that I can seem over friendly with girls to the point where it gives the impression that I am attracted to them. This isn't so much of an issue if its a girl you'd actually like to date, at least then you can't be giving them the wrong impression, they might not be interested but you're not leading them on in any way. The problem is when it is with someone you're not interested in. This is something that I've thought about myself over the last couple of weeks. I have even discussed it with a few people, however this was the first time it has been brought up by someone who didn't know me very well, I am quite impressed with them for doing so and the consequences of the small discussion is continued thought into the matter by me and this article.
So where is my thinking on the matter? Well, the first thing I know is that I'm more likely to give someone I'm not interested in the wrong impression than someone I am interested in the right impression. There is simple reasoning for this, one situation I am the one at risk of getting hurt, the other one I'm not and its nice to have someone like you.
This however, is not a nice attitude at all, in fact, its an awful attitude and it is this attitude that is the root cause of my problem. My focus is wrong, completely opposite to the attitude God would want me to have. It is another example of the old man winning the battle in me, the natural inclination of me is to look out for number 1. To focus on my own happiness, my own needs, my own desires. This is a polar opposite to the attitude of Christ, and opposite to the attitude of the new man in me. I'm selfish, God wants me to be selfless. There is a constant battle in the life of any Christian between the new and the old, between the sin that is so attractive to the flesh and the holiness which is so attractive to the Holy Spirit living in them.
The person who said this to me has done me a favour by doing so, her comments can be used by God to make me more and more Christ like. I'll never be perfect in this life but with God's help with taking advice on board when it is given, even when it is difficult, I can be better than I am now. For my imperfections I will rely on the grace of God to help me through. This is only the very beginning of this and there is much more for me to still accept with this - its difficult - its going against my natural impulses. I have overcome challenges in the past and this is just the next and I don't intend to fail.